Pocket Lint

     There was a man that hated pocket lint. He despised it so much he even thought about cutting the pockets out of everything he owned. He figured that pockets were much too useful to be gotten rid of though so instead he ruthlessly dug the lint out of the corners of his pockets every time he put something on.

      Eventually his compulsion became dull and he forgot about his hatred for pocket lint until he put his hand in his pocket. Then he would always dig at the corners of his pockets and toss the lint aside.    

     Further still he eventually forgot about pocket lint altogether until someone was rude to him or just made him angry and then he would remember and flick pocket lint on them. This seemed to always go unnoticed.

      He would always drop pocket lint in places he hated. Sometimes from poor service and sometimes from people just being rude but still the result was always the same. He emptied his pockets of all lint right there.

      No one ever noticed him do it and the lint was forgotten until one day he got so angry he nearly ripped his pockets out getting the lint out of them. He threw the lint down and stormed out of the establishment. Then all of a sudden the place exploded.

      He was shocked but then he noticed small explosions all over town at places he had been. Smoke filled the air and people ran frantically. There were rumors of terrorists and people panicked but the people in the store he was just in knew exactly what had happened. They couldn't believe it though. No one had ever seen pocket lint explode.

      Only then did people respect him but they had no reason to fear. The government took his pockets away and he didn't shed a tear.

Mr. Mustard and the Condiment Twins

     "Wow this is gonna be a strange one." Tim thinks to himself before writing. "Well here it goes."

     Mr. Mustard was a kind man. He grew up in a small subdivision in the town of Pickle Relish.
Later in life he bought a ranch in Catalina. This is where our story begins.
     Life on the ranch was good for Mr Mustard but he was beginning to become bored with it. His mind often wandered back to the fun he used to have as a kid back in Pickle Relish. He remembered the fun times he used to have with his neighbor Tom the tomato. 
     After reminiscing about the old days Mr. Mustard decided to take a vacation to the thousand islands. He bought a ticket for a Royal Carrot Bean cruise headed there. Once he got to the chip he could hardly wait to get on board. He stumbled up the walk and onto the deck as he raced to behold the sights as if it were going to disappear in mere moments.
     Once the initial shock wore off he made his way to his room and settled in for a few moments before going back to the main deck. He decided to hang out by the pool for a little while and relax a bit but as he found a good spot he noticed a big guy wearing a white cap that looked like he had been in the sun for way to long. As he sat down the white capped red man spoke to him in a rather surprised tone.
     "Mr. Mustard?" said the red man.
     "Yes?" replied Mr. Mustard puzzled.
     "I knew it was you old pal! How have you been?"
     "Tom?" Mr. Mustard replied in a still confused tone.
     "Yeah it's me your old buddy Tom!"
     "Wow Tom you sure have changed a lot since we last met. What's the story?"
     "Well I fell in love with this beautiful chef and she made a mighty fine sauce out of me.We've been married for about 5 years now. How about yourself?"
     "Life in Catalina is pretty good but I got bored on my ranch so I figured I'd set out on an adventure. The Thousand Islands sounded like a mighty fine place to visit so here I am."
     The two talked for most of the rest of the day until they heard an announcement about the night's entertainment in the lettuce lounge. They decided to go and see what it was all about.
     Once they entered the lounge they found the perfect spot. Mr. Mustard ordered some drinks to enjoy during the show while Tom waited at the table. After Mr. Mustard returned and settled in at the table the show began.
     "Ladies and gentleman for your viewing pleasure we are proud to present the Condiment Twins!"
     Out they walk onto the stage and they introduce themselves.
     "Hello folks I'm salt"
     "And I'm pepper"
     "Together we're the Condiment twins!" They both say.
     "We have a great show for you today." Salt begins, "Prepare to be amazed."
     Mr Mustard and Tom watched the show intently and they were amazed at Salt's ability to make things shrink and then make it normal again just by pouring water over it. Pepper had this crazy ability to make anyone sneeze. He challenged everyone to try not to sneeze. All that accepted the challenge failed.
     After the show the two parted ways for the night and Mr Mustard went back to his room to sleep. The next day he and Tom met again and did everything they could cram into the next day. They went swimming in one of the pools, watched a few shows that were offered, and before they knew it the day was over.
     Once they arrived at at the thousand islands Mr. Mustard couldn't believe his eyes. The scenery was beautiful. He and Tom spent the day seeing the sights and admiring the scenery.
     It was time to head back to the chip so they set off toward it. Along the way they ran into the condiment twins. Mr Mustard and talked about how much he loved the show. The twins appreciated their kind words.
     As soon as the chip came into view Mr. Mustard and Tom froze in fear as they noticed a huge snail  blocking the gang plank. The twins sprang into action as Salt made the snail shrink while Pepper made everyone sneeze blowing the snail away. Everyone cheered and began boarding the chip.
     There wasn't much more excitement in Mr. Mustard's journey back home but he enjoyed it all the same. Once back at the port he and Tom said their goodbyes and parted ways. He would never forget this fantastic journey. Tom, the Condiment Twins, and the chip, it was all exciting to him. Whenever he got bored back at his ranch he thought about these things. He even thought he might take another journey someday but for now he had work to do.