The Kingdom of Truffles

     There once was a king who loved truffles. he loved them so much he devoted much of his kingdoms resources to finding them. He even had a farm completely devoted to training pigs to find them. You could say that he was a little too devoted to his truffles for his kingdom grew tired of the mandatory truffle hunt three days a week.
     One day the king heard a rumor about a magical tree underneath which grew the most amazing truffles one could ever taste. Not only that but there were hundreds of thousands of them. If he could find this legendary tree he'd never have to hunt for truffles again.
     As legend would have it only the bravest or possibly foolish king of all the land could enter the sacred garden where the tree grew. So he set off but just before he left he gave his kingdom a much needed break. He told them there would be no mandatory truffle hunts and that as long as he was gone they could keep what they found for themselves.
     After a month of traveling the king came across an establishment by the name of "The Enchanted Tree". He thought for a moment and decided to check it out anyway because he was famished.
     "Hello there." Said the king, "I've been on a journey looking for a magical tree but I need to rest and enjoy some of your fine food if you don't mind."
     "Certainly," replied a rather shady looking barmaid, "We have a delicious shepherd's pie."
     "Sounds delicious I'll have that but do you have any truffles?" replied the king.
     "Just one left but you'll regret eating it if I give it to you."
     "Truffles are my life miss I never regret a truffle."
     "As you wish."
     A few minutes later she brings the food and the truffle. As soon as the king sees the truffle his mouth begins to water. It's the most beautiful truffle he has ever seen. He can even taste the sweet aroma in the air. When it finally arrives at his table he doesn't hesitate to taste it.
     "YUM!" The king says enthusiastically. "This is the best truffle I have ever tasted in all of my days. It must be from the enchanted tree."
     A man across the room gives him a funny look as if he had something stuck to his face.
     "Of course it is." Replied the barmaid,"This is the enchanted tree."
     "No I mean the tree of legend. It is said to have the biggest tastiest truffles in all the land and it's also said to have more truffles than all the trees in all other kingdoms combined. I would never have to search for truffles again."
     With each bite of the truffle the king takes the man's look gets stranger and stranger.
     "This was the tree you sought dear king of this I can assure but each may only take but one which you have now devoured."Says the barmaid in rhythm. "Your greed and gut have brought you far but now you must return for if your kingdom waits much more I'm sure that it will burn"
     The place erupts in song as the king finished his meal but only now he notices a rather peculiar change. Where his hands once were there are now hooves and his nose was flat as well. He tried to speak but could only squeak so his voice could not be heard.
     The kingdom awaited their king's return but a king did not return. There was only a pig wearing the crown that showed up on the farm. They took it as a sign for they did not really know the pig that hated truffles was their one and only king.

Tim In a Bottle

         Hey everyone. I'm Tim. Of course you probably knew that already considering my blog name. Nevertheless I've devoted this blog entirely to creative randomness. What is creative randomness you ask? Well stick around and find out. Basically this is where I come to when I feel like being creative. It's not just something that I want to do just to do it. I want you guys to enjoy it too so please leave comments and if you feel like it follow me so you'll know when the next random creation comes out.          
         Anyway I'll tell you the story of how this blog got it's name. Back in high school in County High Singers. I had a thing called 'Tim words'. Where I would write a random word with Tim in it of course like, Verbatim or intimidate. Anyway later in the year one of the songs we were going to sing was "Time In a Bottle". My classmates started calling it "Tim In a Bottle" So when I was trying to think of a good pen name it crossed my mind.
         Well my creativity failed me on a good pen name but hey I like the blog name because that's pretty much what it is. It's pure unadulterated Tim randomness. Me... in a bottle. Besides that I am the self proclaimed king of random.
        Anyway if you want advice for being random I'm your guy. Can't think of anything to say? Make something up! That's what I do. No no no I don't mean lie I just mean think of something completely off the wall. The first thing that pops in your head. Yea that's it. Chocolate skittles. Doesn't sound all that tasty to me but completely random. Congratulations on your first random nonsensical comment.         
        Alright I'm gonna get off here for a while but I'll be back soon. I know you can't wait for your next dose of complete randomness so I'll blog again soon. Perhaps it will be a story of complete randomness that makes no sense but is still fun to read. Who knows? Maybe a story about aliens that look like orange pineapples.